What are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of? This is not a fixed list. It changes.  It grows.  When I was little, I was super afraid of going in the Lazy River at Wet'n'wild (pre-Hurricane Harbor).  I knew that EVERYtime I went in, I would end up getting lost.  I was afraid of speaking up.  I was scared to say something that would make me stick out or keep me from fitting in.  I've learned a few things.  I know to make a plan when we go to any kind of amusement park... we always have a meeting place! That has helped me to get past that fear.  I've learned that it is okay to speak up and share my thoughts, even if they are not like everyone else's... especially if they are not like everyone else's.  I've picked up a few new fears since moving to New York.  I was happy to learn that I was not alone and that every New Yorker has had this fear at one point or another.. but I am so scared of falling onto the tracks in the subway! I will stand and wait for my train and think of what I would do if I lost my balance and fell or was pushed by the masses! I'm afraid of losing my monthly metrocard.  Those suckers are not cheap! I'm proud to say that I have not lost one yet! 

Today, like every Monday, we gathered at Graffiti 2 for our staff meeting.  Josh was leading our devotional and he started by asking us to be transparent and share our biggest fear.  We joked about some silly fears, but there was a moment when I had to decide if I was truly going to be vulnerable and share my biggest fear, that one that you don't tell anyone about because once its out, its out and there is not taking it back or if I was going to play it safe and share a lesser fear.  One that is acceptable and easy to talk about.  

I knew I wasn't going to get through this without tears.  I began to share what I saw as my biggest fear and tried to get through it quickly to avoid the ugly cry.  You know the one. The more I spoke, the easier it was to explain what my though process was and where I thought the fear stemmed from.  Each of us shared and then we went to Scripture to be reminded of what God tells us about our fears.  I read Isaiah 41:10: 

​​So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

As we read verse after verse containing God's great promises to us, a beautiful peace settled in my spirit.  I am so grateful for my Graffiti 2 family that encourages transparency and even more grateful that they point me back to truth. Thank you, Jesus!